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YOU TOO CAN PROTECT YOUR HOME FROM A 'SPRAYING' CAT

Dear Mr. HandyPerson: Thanks for your response to the recent letter about the problems one homeowner had in living with a cat who "sprays." It made me feel good to know that you and I are not the only ones in the world who honor our commitment to our kitties, even though they can sometimes make a mess of our homes. We have four adult cats, all rescues, and our house will be their "forever" home. Unfortunately, one spayed female cat came with a spraying habit that we could never break. Yet we love each other dearly.

I can assure you this is not a litter box problem. She uses the box just fine. This is a "competition and jealousy" problem compounded by early years of insecurity from living on the streets. We have come to accept her as she is. She is now going on 14 years old, so she won't last forever. When she passes on, we will simply redecorate the house and replace the moldings and quarter rounds that she has permeated with her scent.

Meanwhile, I cover the upholstered furniture with towels and plastic bags. I have also made barriers using 20-by-30-inch foam boards I get from a local crafts store. To make the boards moisture-proof, I cover them with a coat of high-gloss enamel paint and seal the edges with clear packing tape. I rest the boards across her favorite marking places, and she can express herself freely without doing harm. Fortunately, we live outside of the city, where no one would come visit without calling ahead. So I have time to make the house look normal before guests arrive.

Thank you for your tip about anti-static dryer sheets. I've put them around the house and am waiting to see if they have an effect. We love your column and have learned a lot from your advice. -- Mrs. S., Raleigh, N.C.

Dear Mrs. S.: Thanks for your letter. Mr. HandyPerson decided to share your letter not just because it offers some additional stopgap tips for people with similar problems, but also because he was touched by your fortitude and grace in honoring a personal commitment to your four rescued cats.

It's possible some people may not comprehend how you feel when you explain that when your 14-year-old cat passes on, you will "simply redecorate the house and replace the moldings and quarter rounds that she has permeated with her scent." But Mr. HP and others get it. He took in an old cat, Florence, who nearly tore off his arms shortly after he adopted her and who taught his other three rescued cats to hiss and growl, something they hadn't learned before her. He kept the kitten Bobo, now over 3, after he demolished an antique clock by pushing it off the mantle, broke half his dishes by pushing them off counters and tables, threw every paper off Mr. HP's desk repeatedly, and woke him every night for a year by attacking his feet if he moved in his sleep.

Francine, nearly 5, briefly took to throwing up in Mr. HP's reader mailbox. Francis, 4, has nightmares that make her howl in her sleep.

The fourth cat in the house, Hannah's 18-year-old Kitty Cat, is paralyzed in both right legs (using the rear leg as a crutch to chase madly around the house with the others), is stone deaf, and howls deafeningly day or night whenever he wants attention.

Antiques get scratched, sofas gets clawed, curtains get shredded, vases get broken, plants get chewed.

But these cats have distinct personalities. They are hysterically entertaining as they tear around the house, and each is affectionate in his own, individual fashion. So one makes certain accommodations.

Mr. HP thanks you for your commitment and patience with your rescued critters.

Dear Mr. HandyPerson: How can I prevent birds from eating the mortar on my brick house? Why do they want it? -- Mary, Plainville, Conn.

Dear Mary: Mr. HandyPerson has wracked his brain, looked in his books, and talked to handy friends to no avail. He has no idea what is going on with the birds and your house.

In cases like this, he turns to his wise readers. Does anyone out there have a clue what could be happening to Mary? If so, please drop him a line.

(Editors: For editorial questions, contact Greg Melvin, gmelvin@amuniversal.com.)

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